What is awfulising (and the tale of the two arrows)

Awfulising - what a word! It was invented by Albert Ellis to describe a tendency of the mind to catastrophise situations when we meet adversity, especially when things are going against our wishes or our goals. When we are faced with a threat, be it real or imagined, it’s common to ‘awfulise’ or ‘catastrophise’ things not being the way you want them to be, adding an extra layer of distress to an already difficult situation for you.

The tale of the two arrows

Awfulising is the mind’s equivalent of a ‘second arrrow’. What’s the second arrow, you may be wondering? The idea comes from an old Buddhist parable of a man walking through a forest when he is randomly struck by by a hunter’s arrow. The pain of the first is unavoidable, the second arrow is the additional suffering he may add to his experience by going on the ruminate on the event. For example, this shouldn’t have happened, it’s truly the end of the world that this happened. The second arrow is the response to the adversity, which we can learn to manage… Bad things can happen.

In REBT-CBT, we acknowledge that there can be some circumstances beyond our control, but learn that we can manage our response to the second arrow, when we add our own pain to the original injury. Awfulisation is one such arrow we might add to our difficulties. We tell ourselves that something is end of the world bad, that’s it is awful, terrible, specifically that it is off the scale bad. What do you think is the impact of going about your day with a habit of awfulising…?

Here’s an everyday minor example: My printer isn’t working… This is absolutely terrible, how am I going to manage now? How do you think this person is feeling now? Does it help to think these kinds of thoughts? What is a more realistic and helpful way of putting this?

Think of the person above, whose printer wasn’t working. (Okay, I’ll admit, it was me!) What could I have said instead which would be altogether more helpful? Yes, it is true that this is highly inconvenient and a hassle, that this has come at an awkward time, but there are worse things… It is bad that this has happened, but hardly the terrible thing I was leading myself to believe. What is the result of calming oneself with more flexible thinking…? Yes, still some frustration and concern, but a calmer mind means a better ability to problem solve, instead of rooting around switching the printer on and off again with no results.

How to tackle awfulising

It’s always worth stepping back and contemplating your mind chatter when it comes to the everyday habit of awfulising.

Here are some suggestions you could try if you notice you have a habit of awfulising… You could ask yourself, is this situation a truly a horror or just a hassle, an everyday tussle or terrible, impossible or inconvenient?” Any which way you look at it, when we awfulise the everyday adversities, we make life harder than it needs to be. Awfulising sends the message to our brain that the threat is worse than bad, and ramps up our negative emotions, and affects our actions.

It can be helpful to try out a different perspective when it comes to awfulising. You might consider what are the consequences of awfulising or catastrophising your difficulty? You might reflect on the reality of the difficulty - you can practice being genuinely compassionate to yourself about that, because all of us have difficulties one way or another.

Lastly in some situations, you may even be able to cast the net wider and consider three good things which could come about as a result of the problem? (A tough one, but often we can find something unexpected.)

Many times, just acknowledging that you are facing something that is bad and difficult, but reminding yourself of the temporary nature of this challenge and that although it is bad, it’s certainly not end of the world bad, can take the sting out of things. This can alleviate the second arrow.

If there’s an arrow that’s come your way, looking to see whether you are in the habit of awfulising can help to cushion the blow of a second arrow you’ve provided for yourself.

Ali Binns is a CBT therapist working in Bath, UK. Read more about CBT under the tabs above, or delve into the Resources to see if there’s something helpful you can find for yourself.

Unhelpful thinking styles: Black and white thinking

The thoughts we have, the words we use to frame the world and how we describe ourselves and others can all impact on our mood. It might surprise you to know there are several unhelpful thinking styles which we can become prone to when we’re experiencing difficulties.  Over my next few blog posts, I’m going to introduce you to some of these classic negative thinking styles. When we think in these ways, we can start to get in our own way! Unhelpful thinking styles can impact on our emotions, our actions and even our physical symptoms.

One of the most prevalent of the unhelpful thinking styles is 'black and white thinking', sometimes known as 'all or nothing thinking'. Have you ever caught yourself thinking along these lines?

• I’m useless at running, so I’m not going to bother entering that race.
• I’m a rubbish cook, so I’m not inviting friends here for dinner.
• If I don’t get a good enough mark in my exam, I have failed.
• I'm too old to do that.
• I'm exhausted, I couldn't possibly.
• Feel free to come up with your own here...

You can probably see from these examples, that when you stand back and look at these words, they are extreme ways of thinking. They don’t allow for shades of grey, they don’t allow for the possibility of making mistakes, they don’t allow for human fallibility or the potential to learn new skills. In short, they are thoughts which keep us stuck at the wrong end of a whole spectrum of possible thoughts. They certainly don't help us to do the things we might want to do. Dichotomous thinking (to give it a fancy name) makes our difficulties worse.

We call black and white thinking an unhelpful thinking style because these types of thoughts tend not to be 100% true, they’re hard to back up, and they’re sweepingly general. Many of us fall prey to this from time to time, when we’re under pressure, so feel free to acknowledge that this is a fairly common human experience. You are not alone in this!

The automatic thoughts which come tumbling out when someone is experiencing anxiety, stress, depression, or other negative emotion do not help to soothe or alleviate the situation, they increase and sabotage any possibility of moving closer to your goals. In the above examples, these wishes might have been to get fit, improve cooking skills, get a better social life, or feel relaxed and pass a test. Looking at the examples of black and white thinking, how do you think these thoughts impact on the mood of each person?

The good news. This is where a little knowledge goes a long way. Becoming aware of your thinking styles is a good first step. Once you recognise your thinking styles, you are already ahead of the curve. Many clients find it helpful to capture the thoughts that go through their minds when they are experiencing a strong negative emotional reaction and note them down in a journal. You can then begin to notice patterns in your thinking, some of which crop up over and over. We can call these negative automatic thoughts. Negative automatic thoughts often conform to the different unhelpful thinking styles, so it can be good practice to identify and name the type of thought we are experiencing. 

When learning to deal with all or nothing or black and white thinking, you can begin by reflecting on your thoughts as soon as possible after the event and have a reality check. Is this thought 100% true? Am I exaggerating or overestimating the badness of this situation? Am I failing to see the real-life detail in the situation?

Keep an eye out for further posts on the different unhelpful thinking styles. I’ll be sharing some further tips to help you to discover alternative ways to develop healthier, more flexible thinking styles.

Unhelpful thinking styles: Jumping to conclusions

Unhelpful thinking styles: Emotional filters / emotional reasoning

Unhelpful thinking style: Labelling

As a CBT therapist in Bath, I help my clients to identify and manage their unhelpful thinking and underlying beliefs. If you're looking for therapy in Bath, please feel free to get in touch at info@alibinns.co.uk